Think whatever you like about me, as far as your personal opinion. I don’t need everyone on the planet to like me
But to create a fake story about someone and weaponize it, and your larger following to bully someone under the guise of an anti-bullying campaign takes a special kind of cruelty.
I don’t regret speaking out about theft of my IP when it happens, when it appears to be deliberate and / or done by an equal size or larger entity normally. No I don’t actually attack people for no reason, I dryly and politely ask people who have posted my images without credit or permission to either credit or remove it please and thank you. Some people get incredibly angry over any indication they’ve done something wrong & go on the attack when it’s called to attention though, and I’d rather keep my distance from them.
I call things out only if it seems necessary to protect my income or brand, or warn the community about potential harm.
I don’t regret speaking out about social justice issues, or politics, or the environment. Or my own mental health, because seriously folks the fact that it’s so stigmatized is why people don’t know how to communicate with each other and build supportive relationships.
I am perfectly fine with people bothered by those things, not liking me. They are not who I’m trying to speak to anyway.
To accuse me of bullying though while actually instigating it by playing victim is so incredibly low.
A lot of people are bullied in their lives at some point. I was maybe a bit more than most, and yes my neurodivergence was usually the reason.
I was odd, paralyzingly anxious and socially awkward, I daydreamed all the time, couldn’t focus, and couldn’t talk to most people when I was very young. I was teased for my slow movement and slow reflexes, my hairiness, of course they made nicknames based on those features. I had no clue about boundaries or where mine should be.
I didn’t know how to refuse the company of my ‘friend’ who sexually threatened me in the school bathroom and repeatedly bullied me.
She and her friend eventually got a lot of the class to join in on mocking me for not talking, for having my head in the clouds, made fun of my appearance until I was in tears. I was rarely ever not anxious around people.
THAT’S bullying, that’s harassment. A disappointed customer is not.
I eventually learned last year from another friend in school that she witnessed my bully’s father being physically abusive to her mother at a sleepover, which explained so much. I don’t know what ever happened to her but I do honestly hope she was able to heal and break the cycle of abuse and I wish she had gotten help earlier in life.
I’ve been a trauma-induced people-pleaser for most of my life, so I’m learning, and since ADHD and ASD can both show up in traits as naivety and being overly trusting, trusting people who didn’t deserve that trust is a repeated mistake in my past. I didn’t think that’s what was happening with Chotronette until it was too far involved. Yes I should have been more firm about what I expected out of the dress at the start and questioned the size when they first sent the dress, but I haven’t acted out of hate.
I felt I was taken advantage of and wanted to spare potential brides or collaborators of the same troubles if I could.
Ironically, you’ll see Chotronette and other people simultaneously criticizing my speaking out about this as ‘bullying’, while praising Chotronette for the same thing.
Whether they intentionally didn’t keep their end of the deal or just got careless, I’m not sure, but the defamation campaign is inexcusable. Intentionally lying to tarnish someone’s rep is not the way to deal with an unhappy customer or collaborator. Really not a good look.
I’ve never seen evidence of the bullying they claim they received, below are public comments on their post with the wings in it that’s now been deleted. They were all only bringing up crediting the wings, a couple mentioned that they didn’t respect our collaboration and contained no personal attacks, but most of them were blocked for it.
